no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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