Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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