I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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