Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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