Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...

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(773): Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision... http://tfl.nu/88cp

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(206): View more from Washington

I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.

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(206): I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship. http://tfl.nu/9mk5

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(646): View more from New York

Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.

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(646): Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too. http://tfl.nu/dkri

Replies (19) Good night (6807) Bad night (1513)
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(646): View more from New York

I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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(646): I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night http://tfl.nu/kb2l

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!

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(985): Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!! http://tfl.nu/9t2j

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(703): View more from Virginia

Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.

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(703): Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night. http://tfl.nu/f2qw

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(409): View more from Texas

You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.

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(409): You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you. http://tfl.nu/firf

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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(609): I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch http://tfl.nu/jghc

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(765): View more from Indiana

google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?

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(765): google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY? http://tfl.nu/u2sp

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(310): View more from California

oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.

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(310): oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars. http://tfl.nu/b3kf

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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?

(863): View more from Florida

I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on

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(240): Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister? (863): I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on http://tfl.nu/xj2m

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...

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(270): I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night... http://tfl.nu/q37f

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.

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(605): I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment. http://tfl.nu/w9a2

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(515): View more from Iowa

You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

Any good?

(515): View more from Iowa

Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point

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(515): You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka. (1-515): Any good? (515): Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point http://tfl.nu/htpx

Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (191)
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(516): View more from New York

I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.

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(516): I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers. http://tfl.nu/n7z5

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