Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
