Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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