She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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