As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
