Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
