I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
