Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
