It's Friday. Sex?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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