Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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