I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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