we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
