Yo dont text me then not text me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
