is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
