so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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