And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
