The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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