I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
