Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
