dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
