dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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