Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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