do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
