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If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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