i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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