I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
ok first of all what the fuck
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
