Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
