I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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