please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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