i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
