hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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