Who did Billy Mays play for?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
