Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
