You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize