Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
