He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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