Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
