you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
