So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
so much tequila, so little girl.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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