I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
