talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
