I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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