Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
