I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
