i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
