I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
