what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
