meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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