I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
