I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i think im in europe. pls send help
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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