From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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