on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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