I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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