I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you had me at cake vodka
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
