Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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