I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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