The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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