youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
