her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
